super bowl sundry
by Enukid
Summary: vegeta bets goku five hundred dollars the Raiders will win... he's got something up his sleeve...


One evening at Goku's house, Goku invited everyone over for chips and salsa to watch the super bowl. Oolong, Yamcha, Goten, trunks, Vegeta, Bulma, Piccolo, Krillin, and Gohan all gathered around the big screen TV. Chichi came in with twelve glasses of milk. "Anybody want any MILK?" she asked. Everyone laughed, including Goku even though he didn't get it. Trunks stood up. "Any body want any TRU-" Vegeta pulled him down by his shirt. "Sit down, Trunks." He growled. Gohan stood up. "Any body want a MEAL?"  
Everyone except for Vegeta and Trunks burst out laughing. Milk sprayed out of their noses. Trunks frowned. "It wasn't THAT funny. You're just playing off your Japanese names!" "Quit being a smart-ass Trunks!" shouted Vegeta.  
"Uhm..." mumbled Trunks, "When I grow up, I want to be just like my dad, 'cuz he's the strongest guy in the whole universe! He said so himself!" 'There, maybe that will shut him up' he thought. Vegeta grinned. "Works for me." Goten jumped up. "That's not true! My dad said he was the smartest, and that Vegeta was pathetic and grandiose!"  
"Damn you!" cried Vegeta, punching Goku in the stomach. Goku looked confused. "But I never said that! I don't even know what grandiose means! Chi Chi said that!" Vegeta looked up." Where is that slave-woman of yours, anyways?" "Uh, she said she couldn't watch the Super Bowl 'cuz it was rated triple x."  
Vegeta jumped up with a sudden idea. " Goku, I bet you five hundred dollars the Buccaneers will win!" "Okay!" "All right. I'm gonna be gone for an hour... I've got to buy some pork rinds. Gee, I hope none of the Raiders die before I get back! It would be most unpleasant." He said with a laugh and walked out the door.  
Krillin looked over at Yamcha. "Weren't Tien, Chaozu,and Master Roshi s'posed to be here?" Yamcha shrugged.  
"We will be right back after these messages" blared the television. Everyone grumbled and shuffled into the kitchen, except for Bulma and Krilin, who watched the Super Bowl solely for the commercials.  
"bah bah bah bah bah, bah bah bah bah baaah, the joy of pepsi yeah!" Han Solo sang as Anakin beat r2-d2 with a stick. "Remember- a can a day keeps the dark side away!" "Bweep bwoo beeyoo!"  
"Hi I'm miss Cleo! You can tell the future now with my psychic predictions! I'm guessing there's a woman in your life. Do you have a mother?" "Uh... yeah?" "Wasn't that wonderful? Call now for your free psychic predictions! 535-5256!   
"Kami, I hate those damn psychic commercials! They're so fake!"  
"Bulma!" cried Goku." Someone on the phone for you!"  
"Who is it?"  
"It's miss Cleo and...yes.... I see... She say she is too psychic, you blue-haired whore! ... Uh... what's a whore?"  
Piccolo rolled his eyes. "A 'hoar' is an adjective meaning white or grayish." Goku looked confused. "Chi Chi, what's a whore?"  
"It's a... well...er...a badger", she muttered lamely. She shot a confused look at Piccolo. Piccolo shrugged. "I dunno, whoever wrote this story must think I am the source of all knowledge."  
There was a knock at the door and in came: Master roshi dressed as Faye valentine from cowboy bebop, chaozu as pikachu, and tien was dressed as a mewtwo.  
"Let me guess..." said Gohan, " roshi, you're... yourself, chaozu is pikachu... and tien , you must be frieza."  
Tien frowned. "no, I'm mewtwo. A pokemon."   
Long silence.  
"Well, you LOOK like frieza..." said Gohan at last. Roshi laughed. "Well we're here for the costume party!" "there is no costume party..." another long silence.  
Oolong started chatting with Chaozu." Who do you think is gonna win the Super Bowl, Chaozu?" "I think the Bulls will! Uh, phoenix coyotes?" he started sweating. "A sports team?..." Goku smiled. "yeah, I'm betting on a sports team, too!"  
"Hey, you guys, The commercials are over, and you won't believe this!" cried Krillin from the living room. They all gathered around the screen as a news reporter...uh...reported. " all of the patriots have been killed except for the water boy. The suspect blew them all apart , apparently carving his name in the field." A copter cam showed a huge, black VEGETA in the grass. " Vuh...jay...tah... hey, he has almost the same name as vegeta!" cried goku. "A reporter also stated that he said something similar to: " I will win this time, kakarott!" "and he sounds like vegeta too!" "Here is a composite sketch of the killer." An image of vegeta flashed on screen. "hey !" cried Goku, "I get it now! " everyone waited in suspense, hoping it finally dawned on goku... but it was a small hope.  
"They must of cloned vegeta!" everyone fell over. "No, you idiot!!!!!!!!"  
Suddenly the door slammed. I n walked Vegeta, who had his hair roughed up and had other people's blood on him. "Woo," he panted, "whaddaya know, sold out of sake for miles...hehe..." Chi Chi coughed. "I thought you were going to buy pork rinds."   
"Quiet, insolent woman!!" cried Vegeta. "I clearly said Sake." Goku glanced nervously at the TV. The water boy was doing a valiant effort, but he was getting ripped apart.  
"Damn, I forgot about him," said vegeta under his breath.  
"What'd say you?!!" cried Piccolo.  
"I said ...uh... damn, Kai called himself shen."  
Piccolo started coughing violently. " sorry, something stuck in my throat... it tastes like the nasty slime of lies."  
Vegeta sighed. ' phew... I thought he was coughing because he thought I was lying,' he thought.  
***  
"And THAT'S the super bowl! In an act of valiant humanity, the Buccaneers gave the trophy to the courageous Raider's water boy. Oakland has won!!!"  
the other announcer started crying. " such kindness is inhuman..." "I know, Billy, I know..." they both hugged.  
"dammit to hell! " cried Vegeta, breaking many objects. "It's not fair! I never win!"  
there was a knock at the door. Yamcha ran up to get it. "hey hows it- OH MY GOD!!"  
"HELLO, YAMCHA," muttered a deep, wrathful voice. "I WAS JUST WONDERING IF I COULD WATCH THE SUPER BOWL HERE WITH YOU... MY TELEVISION IS BROKEN..." It was Shen Long. "Uhm, yeah, Mr. Dragon, come right in..."  
"HEY, GOKU," he rumbled. "HAVEN'T SEEN YOU SINCE LAST YEAR." "I wish for five hundred dollars!" vegeta blurted out. He wasn't stupid.  
"GRANTED. BUT I CAN ONLY GIVE YOU FOUR HUNDRED AND NINETY-NINE" "What?!" "TAX LAW... EVEN WISH DRAGONS HAVE THEIR LIMITATIONS." "Fine, whatever." "GRANTED" $499 appeared in Vegeta's lap. Shen Long disappeared in a flash of light. "Goku, can I borrow a dollar?"  
and so, vegeta learned a valuable lesson today... always kill the water boy. They can use weakness as an advantage. 


End file.
